


Fake Date or I'm An Oblivious Idiot

by SnowWhiteKnight



Category: A Song of Ice and Fire & Related Fandoms, A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin, Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: F/M, Fake/Pretend Relationship, First Dates, Fluff, Oblivious Sandor, Oneshot, POV Sandor, Past Relationship(s), Weddings, fake date
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-01
Updated: 2015-10-01
Packaged: 2018-04-24 07:06:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,135
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4909951
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SnowWhiteKnight/pseuds/SnowWhiteKnight
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"My ex just invited me to their wedding and I need you to be my date so it doesn’t look like I’ve spent the last few years failing to get over them.“</p>
            </blockquote>





	Fake Date or I'm An Oblivious Idiot

**Author's Note:**

  * Translation into Deutsch available: [Das Fake-Date oder Ich bin ein ahnungsloser Idiot](https://archiveofourown.org/works/9280187) by [Lalelilolu](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lalelilolu/pseuds/Lalelilolu)



"I was completely in love with her," he said over his fourth beer. His "date" peered up at him from her chicken marsala. "She was shit to me and I put up with it because I thought I was in love with her."

"What happened?" she asked, though he suspected that she had an inkling already. She knew this was a fake date. He had asked her to act like they were madly in love, and to her credit, she had complied marvelously, nothing overt to suggest she was acting. He had been pleasantly surprised when she even went as far as to kiss him softly on both his scarred cheek and his mouth.

"She cheated on me with that handsome cunt over there," he pointed at the redheaded bride and blond groom, who were feeding dinner to each other, "and when I confronted her about it, she dumped my ugly ass. Not that I'm sorry about it now or anything. Like I said, she treated me like shit. It took her breaking up with me to finally see how toxic the relationship was." Sandor took another swig from the beer bottle. "Not sure why she invited me to this shindig. Not sure why I came. Free booze and food, at least."

"Denial is not good for you," his date chirped. He glared at her, but she only smiled at him.

"What do you know of it?" he demanded.

She shrugged, "As much as you do, I suppose. But, I can at least answer the whys."

"What 'whys'?"

She smiled at him again, a patient smile, as if talking to a child. "First, why she invited you. Could only be one of two reasons. She wants to either bury the hatchet, or she wants you to see how well she's doing. Though with the way she's acting, I'm leaning towards the latter. Second, why you accepted. You wanted her to see that she did not break you. Third, well, that's mine, but from everything I've seen or heard so far, I think I've got it all figured out. Why did you invite me? Because you want her to see you with an upgrade. I wouldn't say I'm the prettiest in the room, and while she's very attractive, I'm definitely prettier than her, and she knows it. She's been glaring daggers at me since she saw me walk in on your arm. And I'm all natural, unlike her bottle red hair and obvious boob job."

"You're very self assured."

She blushed at that, pleased by his comment. "I am secure enough in my own looks to be able to judge others fairly." She pushed her food around with her fork. "My point is, you may not want her back, but you also don't want her to see you as weak either."

Sandor mused over this. He hadn't quite thought of it like that. Setting the beer down, he leaned towards his date, his arm draping over the back of her chair. "What makes you think it's only about her? What if I just wanted an excuse to ask  _you_ out?"

She was still smiling at him, but the gentleness had turned to coyness, "If that were the case, then I'm flattered. However," she leaned into him, close enough that he could smell the light scent of the citrusy perfume she was wearing, "I'm certain that's not it. I've asked you out multiple times before and each time you turned me down flat." Her low cut dress, another request by him, had drawn his attention to her ample bosom and it took him a few seconds to register what she had just said.

"Wait, what?" he frowned at her. She chuckled and turned her body to fully face him. 

"Just last week, I asked you if you'd like to go out to dinner at that new Dothraki restaurant that opened up around the corner from the office." She turned back to her food.

"I'm not that fond of Dothraki food," he said, though it sounded weak to his ears.

"The week before, I asked you if you wanted to go see that new Jaqen H'ghar movie that came out." She looked over at him, "I remembered you mentioning that you wanted to go see it."

"I had promised Bronn I'd go see it with him," he said as he avoided her eyes.

"The week before that, it was bowling. The time before that, it was a football game. Your team, the Lannisport Lions, was playing against the King's Landing Gold Cloaks. The time before that, it was--"

"Ok, I get it, multiple times."

"I have also asked you to get drinks with me after work," she said with an amused grin, "repeatedly. Not once have you taken me up on my offers."

"I..." he had no excuse for turning her down for drinks, except that he assumed she had only been asking to be polite. Now that he thought about it, really thought about it, he was the only one she ever made that offer to. It wasn't like he wasn't attracted to her, seven hells, he had had a crush on her since she first walked into his office to discuss a complaint filed against him. He always looked forward to talking to her at work and he had been tempted to ask her out, but she was just so out of his league that he hadn't even entertained the idea that _she_ would take the initiative to approach him. She was _Sansa freakin' Stark_ after all, the goddess of HR. It had been sheer luck that she had walked into the break room when he was talking with Bronn and Tyrion about the wedding. Tyrion had just suggested taking a fake girlfriend and in a crazy "this is never going to work" moment, he had asked her. He hadn't expected her to accept. 

He felt like an idiot. She must have read it on his face, because she took pity on him.

"Here's one more offer, turn it down and I promise I will never bother you again. When they open up the floor to everyone, will you dance with me?" she asked.

"I'm not very good at dancing," he started. She nodded and poked at her chicken again, the smile gone from her face.  _Shit. What am I doing?_ "But I'm willing to try if you're willing to be patient with me."

"I've been patient with you since I met you," she said with a grin. "I think I can manage a song, or two, or four."

"Ever?" he asked without thinking.  _Forever._  

"Maybe." The soft look she gave him held such promise. "Let's see how this date goes. So, shall we?" she asked as the music started up.

"Lead the way, little bird."

 

**Author's Note:**

> From a tumblr prompt, though it was intended for a Captain Swan pairing.


End file.
